I've been procrastinating, avoiding updating this blog. I think I didn't want to write again and move the post about my grandpa out of the top space on the page. I've kind of been stuck the last few weeks. Traveling, working like crazy, running around after my daring, fearless toddler tornado... whew!
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| Flying back to NYC - November |
As much as I am thankful for the time I had with my grandpa, I am also sad to have lost him. And also incredibly sad to have lost another connection to my mom. I saw so many things about her when I looked at him, understood so many things about her. And I hate to admit that I've been focusing on the sadness of all of that. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say I've been ignoring it.
The other day I found myself hunched over the computer with a headache, and that's when it hit me. I've been keeping myself busy--too busy--and wound up tight, literally, forgetting to breathe. I've been taking shallow breaths, using only the top of my lungs. So I sat down on the floor and practiced three part breathing, using my whole lungs. Then I did some yoga and moved into camel pose. My chest actually cracked. It was a cathartic moment. I recently read an article called "
Beat the Blues with Heart Opening Yoga" by Kate Hanley. It was a good reminder. I need to look inward right now instead of allowing the busyness of my life to overwhelm me. I need to breathe and to keep my heart open. No more slouchy protective shoulders for this girl!
So this is my new focus. Breathe. Open my heart. Breathe. Open my heart. Breathe...
